Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I've got that feeling again...

[alert: this may not be the most exciting post ever but I needed to get it's long...don't be afraid to X out now:)]

Ever get that feeling? You know, the one that makes you want to thank everyone you see? Or the one that makes you feel so insignificant compared to all the wonderful people that surround you?

Well I've got that feeling...right now.

I've been hit. Hit by the realization that alone I will never amount to anything, let alone be enough. I think in the back of my mind I always know this simple fact...but every now and again it really overwhelms me.

I promise this won't be another one of my long, boring, sappy post. I just want to express the gratitude I feel. I feel it for my husband, son, family, coworkers and even the strangers that I run into. You know, the ones who point out that you dropped your sweater or wallet, or the ones who let you get over on the freeway. I'm even grateful for the ones who aren't so nice...they teach me a little more about patience and kindness.

Today "this feeling" mostly revolves around the gospel. It's easy to wonder where I'd be without out it but today I'm wondering where I am with it. Am I embracing it to the fullest giving myself the chance to grow with the light it holds? I guess there's always room for improvement but today I think I have found that I hardly take up any space at all. Here's to growing.

I know religion is a touchy subject. I grew up learning how stand for what I believed in while respecting the person next to me. Most of the sweet friends that read this dull blog already carry the light of the gospel in their lives but maybe just maybe this will reach someone who is looking for a little illumination.

The gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is true. It's perfect. The people are not...but the word of God is. I know this as sure as I know my own name. I know that I am a treasured daughter of God. He wants the world for me and to achieve that he has given and will give me trials and tribulations. Honestly, I don't want to think about what I may face in my life time, but I know that what will come will come for my own good. I know that I have a brother. A brother that is so dear to me. He gave his life so my silly and serious mistakes could be washed away. That is the kind of elder brother everyone needs, and coincidently, everyone has. Getting to know him will take a lifetime but it will be worth it in the end.

I'm about to spend the weekend with my husband, baby, mom, dad and sister. I hold these five people closest to my heart. There is no job, electronic, home or other worldly treasure that could ever mean more to me than they do. Thankfully temples have given my family eternity. Nothing is worth more than knowing that I'll be with them forever.

I'm sorry for this little blerg. I broke my earlier promise of a short and exciting post...but I guess this was as much for me as for the reader. I love the gospel and I love my life. What a spectacular realization.

love you all


AB Fisher said...

Bailee, you're so right. This post was as much for the reader as it was for you. I needed to hear those words today, especially the part reminding me to be grateful for the not so nice people because they teach you patience and kindness. I've never really looked at those situations in that kind of perspective, so thank you.

I hope you and your cute family have an amazing time at Disneyland. That will be a nice break from the everyday stresses that life tends to bring :)

Akina's said...

Thanks for you testimony bailee... i wish everyone would bear their testimonies more often in everyday life. it brings a little more light to get through the darkness of this world that we live in. Can you believe we're here? going back to high school, would you ever think or believe that we would be where we are today. it's amazing that's for sure. Love you and i hope you have a wonderful time with all of your sweet family!!