finding the right things to say

I've been half dreading this blog post. I just don't know how to put into words the events of the last 7 days. I don't think my life, or outlook, will ever be the same.

Most of you heard about this little guy making his big debut a week from today. He was born at 29 weeks but at a hospital known for it's NICU. We were all so hopeful. Unfortunately things took a turn for the worse and little Princeton returned to his Heavenly Father five days after birth. I can't tell you how much I love his parents and big bro and that love reached to him too. I got to meet him once when things were looking good. I was so impressed with the fight he had for life. The next day I got to spend time as he quietly passed from this mortal life to that paradise where he will wait for the rest of his family.

I guess the words I am struggling to find are those of comfort for the new little family that this baby came to. As I was blog surfing today I found this. It is exactly what I want his sweet parents to know.

Princeton, you have been a blessing. One that has changed the lives of many. Thank you. I know that there is a plan and Princeton was so perfect he didn't need to be tested or tried in this life, but sometimes that doesn't make it any easier to have him go.

Treav, Angela, I love you guys. I hope you know that we all do. We are all rooting for you to push through this and to come out stronger, even your baby boy Princeton. You.can.do.it!!!

If you want to attend the funeral it's at 11am in Pleasant Grove this coming Monday. If you want more details let me know.

Just what I needed

I have a lot to blog about but I'm not going to just yet, I'm going to spend my day off with my handsome little man. I just wanted to post a little blurb. I found a blog through a friend and I tell you, it is just what I needed. It's called Cardigan Empire (and those who know me know that I love cardigans!). Surprisingly enough it's not about cardigans but about beauty. Anywho go check it out, and make sure you read the Beauty-Full Tuesday posts. As a young woman struggling with self image after baby, this blog has given me new perspective. I was already on my way to a better, more beautiful place but this blog definitely helped. Hope you enjoy it!

I'm gonna miss this.

I got this job just after marrying Zach and turning 20. Shortly after (like 6 weeks) I found out I was pregnant with C. About 2.5 years later I'm facing my last three hours of answering the phones for 8 of my favorite attorneys, not to mention to of the closest friends I've made, Mary Ann and Jeri. I remember calling when I saw the ad in the Daily Universe, the interview and the call that said I was in. I never knew I'd stay so long and love it so much. I know two years isn't all that long but for a college student who's life is rapidly changing, it is. Zach and I have moved three times since getting this job, I've been in the hospital for more than 5 days, Zach's held three different jobs and I've taken over 60 credit hours. They've pretty much seen me through thick and thin.

What was that you asked? Why on earth am I leaving?

I have an opportunity to work as a phlebotomist. The job offers all on the job training and after 3 months I'll have certification. Pretty much the experience will be so valuable to my future career as a nurse and I'm excited to start a new chapter in my life.

With that said, I'm taking in my last 3 hours here and enjoying every minute of it. I don't think it's ever been so hard for me to leave a work place but I'm struggling. I just hope I made a little contribution in the lives here at the office, they sure made a difference in mine.

I will admit, this feeling is strange for me. I usually welcome change, jump at it. I must be getting older and more sentimental. Love you Law Offices, rude phone callers, random sweets, impatient waiters and intimidating [not really] attorneys, I'll miss you.

Some people say...

that it's hard to watch your little ones grow up. It is, but I love it. I love watching each little milestone unravel.

We moved C to a big boy bed and he absolutely loves it. He's totally the coolest kid...ever.

I'm planning on making him a quilt with a tiny Mickey Mouse in the corner, because he loves mickey.

What a life I lead

Do you ever feel like complaining and then completely regret it later? I do...sometimes.

I came home to these beauties.

My boys went to a florist and hand picked all the flowers for my little arrangement.

I'm lucky and have nothing to complain about:)

happiness

It seems like one of the ultimate questions,

How can we be happy? or What makes us happy?

I am Happy.

Bold, I know but it's true. Not superficial at all.

I have everything I'll ever need.

Yesterday I spent the day with an extremely happy baby and hubby for that matter. We walked around, played and everything else under the sun.

Then I got the #1 thing on my list, a date! and wings (I promise the date was higher on the list than the wings).

The wings were good but a little quality quiet time with my Zach was incredible.

We picked up the little man (who hadn't had a nap all day) smiling and happy, and carried him sleeping up to bed.

It defined happiness, at least for this 22 year old.

I hear people complain about what their husbands do, or what they don't do, but mine is my world.

Some say that kids are the end of freedom, but mine is my universe.

I'm lucky.

Skidamarink

Excuse the title but I just didn't want to use "Update" again, seeing as that's all this really is going to be:)

So, It's been a while. No we haven't fallen off the face of the earth or anything, just busy. I decided to look for a job in a healthcare setting and landed one as a phlebotomist (go ahead and google it:). I'm really excited to start a new chapter in my career but so sad to leave the office. I have been at the office for a long time and can't imagine not showing up to answer phones everyday.

Zach is down to one job (can I get a hallelujah?!) and Canyon has especially loved spending a little more time with his daddy. I say especially because Zach is the new get-out-of-going-to-bed parent and the won't-let-mommy-make-me-eat-things-I-don't-want-to-eat parent (even though in the end Zach makes him do the same things I do, he just thinks daddy might not), he's also just the best dad ever. Canyon has so much fun with Zach you'd think they were related or something:)

Canyon is now hitting the terrible twos. He really likes to push boundaries. I don't mind so much but the incessant whining when he doesn't get what he wants can start to drain my energy. I never realized this before but not only are tantrums a part of the terrible twos but he's just not that easily distracted anymore. He knows what he wants and there's not much I can do to change his mind. I try to come up with other fun activities but it usually ends with me walking away and C following shortly after finishing his little tantrum. Honestly he is the happiest, funniest baby, this is just all new to me. I know it's not like him and I think a little cold is making it a lot worse than it is, so I'm not complaining. Just excited for him to get into the sentence stage so I can better understand and reason with him.

Speaking of reasoning with the little man, it's been fun to see how much he really understands. Every night before bed we all kneel down for prayers. For a few weeks he was so good at folding his arms, bowing his head and closing his eyes during the prayer and saying amen afterward. The last few nights C has decided if we don't say prayers then we won't go to bed so he's been boycotting bedtime prayers with a little tantrum. Last night he was in Zach's lap screaming as I knelt down and told him to fold his arms. He screamed again so I said, "Canyon, we are going to say prayers whether you want to or not. Screaming is not going to change it." He immediately calmed down, let me pray and said amen. I sure love him. I keep getting the feeling that how I react now is vital to his behavior later on. I just hope I'm doing it right.

Sorry for the long "Skidamarink". Hope you enjoyed at least a line or two:)

Oh did I mention C is sleeping in a big boy bed now? It's precious really:)