October

October is my tender mercy. Words don't do justice to how great this October was so here's the proof.

 Zach and I decided to really decorate the trunk for trunk or treating this year. Zach had WAY too much fun with it. You can't see it in the pic, but the dry ice was totally awesome.

Spiderman:) He really really wanted to be the Flash but I couldn't find a pattern or a store bought costume so he settled for the web slinger. 

There's a super cute pumpkin patch not far from us that has hay rides, animals, corn mazes, slides and tons of other fun and free activities. Canyon loved every second and can't wait to go back next year.

Working on his name. We are still working on holding a pencil correctly so this was a fun break from that. It really worked his fine motor skills and he loved seeing his name so big and with beans!

Every night since Halloween Canyon asks if it's time to go trick or treating when it gets dark. Poor kid. He's got a whole year to wait.

Now that we are in November I can't wait for the holidays. Each and every year I feel more and more gratitude for all that I have. Hope you are all well and enjoying the beginning of what is sure to be a great holiday season!

Painting is serious business

Canyon and I decided to paint a birdhouse I had laying around. He was so intent on the project that when I tried to make a funny he told me to be serious. I love this little boy.

PS I'm struggling with how he holds pencils, crayons, etc. Any tips on helping him do it correctly? Thanks!

PCOS Diet

In the throws of depression I stumbled upon an amazing blog that has me looking for the hope in all of this. Tarryn of PCOS Diet Support is my new best friend-ish. Not only does she help with the diet side of battling PCOS but she is always posting to encourage and inspire. Her site is exactly what I need.

Today marked the first day of my sugar-free, dairy free, and processed-free diet. I'm doing a-okay so far...and it's 10:45 am. Hmmm, I guess I'll do a progress report later this week about how I'm feeling. You'll get a better idea of how the diet is affecting me.

I really wanted to say thanks for all the support. Yesterday's post wasn't to throw a pity party but to get it out and move on. I'm so grateful for the kind words I received in response. Thanks! At this rate, maybe Hawkins baby #2 won't be too far out of reach!

Change

I'm a fan. Big fan. But sometimes is scares me silly. Today marks a big change.

I still don't know how to formulate the words for my struggles and honestly most of the time I don't want to. I try to keep things light here on the blog but I guess I need to get things out and maybe the change will be easier.

Last week, Zach and I found out that I have PCOS. An ultrasound confirmed our suspicions and showed many many cysts. While poly cystic ovarian syndrome is not an impossible obstacle to overcome, it is making things difficult. Financially we aren't in a place to continue working out our infertility issues so I'm going to start where I can, tackling the PCOS with diet, exercise and herbs.

Well, that was depressing, but it's out. Now to take the leap forward and be done with hiding the pain and loneliness that comes from infertility. I'm going to keep up on here with my progress and maybe I will be able to find strength in the words of friends of family. Who knows, maybe my journey will inspire others around me. Thanks for always being a support, and I hope I don't drive you bonkers with all this:)

Yard Sales

I'm a little addicted. I get so excited when I can find brand new things for $.50.

Except when you forget that your child has an abnormally large head...

Looks like I need to buy one that would fit your average 5 year old. What a shame...at least the bike was only $3:)

Mom

I'm no writer. I often find it hard to put my deep emotion into script but today I feel the need to simply say thank you to my mom.

I can admit I was ungrateful. As a teenager and even my early years after leaving home I didn't understand the commitment and love my mom had given me my entire life. It was when I heard the beating of my own son's heart through that amazing machine that I felt the connection. It wasn't just a connection to my baby boy but the connection of generations past. I was part of the chain.

I love you, Mom. You are my hero, and I'm so glad you put up with talking to me on the phone 5+ times a day since we hardly see each other any more. Thanks for coming to all my soccer games, softball games, volleyball games, orchestra recitals, young women's activities (probably not by choice;) and every other tiny insignificant events that I had going on. I'm sorry I didn't realize until I was far to far away how much you mean to me. I'm glad we have the rest of our lives to be best friends.

=

And I'm so glad that we have an eternal family:)

love, 

Seasonal blues

I was trying super hard to keep depression out of the title. I'm pretty sure I want to keep things happy on here:) In all seriousness, anyone else feel like January and February and all that is cold can bring the blues? This year I really felt it. Yesterday shooed those blues out the window and welcomed the sunny and fun days that I live for.

I started the day off with one of my favorite 5k races, The Provo City Marathon, half-marathon and chase the mayor 5k. I know it's lame and only 3.1 miles but it's always a good start to my racing season. I really wanted to make it in under 30 minutes and I actually did it! While beating 30 minutes is far from reaching Olympic heights, it totally made my morning. Not to mention the cute boys who were there to cheer me on near the finish line.

Canyon was sad that he didn't have race numbers so to cheer him up we made him a little race bib. Oh and I guess the next race I do I'll have to push him along, he was SO mad he didn't get to run to the finish line. So we raced to the car, he won:)

 After showering and getting some things done at home, we all headed to the Springville Splash Pad. Zach helped with the design so we really wanted to see how it turned out. Canyon played for and hour and half and was pretty sad to leave (although he takes after me and takes a REALLY long time to warm up to the idea of water...)  It is such a cool little park. Go check it out.

After the splash pad we played around town and then headed up for some pretty extensive family pictures with Zach's entire family. We had fun and I can't wait to see how they all turned out. After pics the whole family gathered for games and dessert.

Saturday was really a great kickstart into summer. Warm and full of outdoor fun. I'm sort of wishing we lived somewhere where it stayed warm all the time...hmmm....Maybe in a few years;)